Reading this book can be like installing a Spiritual Carbon Monoxide Detector in your heart and mind. I told him I felt condemned. The authors realize they are dealing with wounded people. Then she sat wringing the tissue in knots as she replied. Do members appreciate truth wherever it is found even if it is outside their group? You know where you stand. The Subtle Power of Spiritual Abuse is an insightful book that describes spiritually abusive patterns where people are told that they have to perform and measure up in order to gain acceptance and love. Aside from some light criticisms I have regarding sloppy copy editing, my only other critique is that there are a few points which could have been fleshed out.
From my encounter, God gave me a visual aid to help me see the kind of person Jesus was fighting for. They need to know that at least you are there for them. Spiritual manipulation, control and abuse is indeed a very deceptively and intricately woven web designed for entrapment. We consistently confront the pious pretending of pharisaical legalism. Instead of measuring how long your hems were, you were being judged by the length of your Bible study. Living up to the standard is what earns acceptance, the result of which is acceptance of behaviors, not people.
Toxic Faith There is a list of questions borrowed from the book — another good and recommended book about this subject. In an abusive church, the use of guilt, fear, and intimidation to control members is likely to produce members who have a low self-image, who feel beaten down by legalism, who have been taught that asserting oneself is not spiritual. The problem, as we have come to know it, is that of spiritual abuse. Although I don't know that manipulators will recognize their behavior, because so often they have the best of intentions and sincerely believe that their way is the right way. Last, the other concern I have about the content was the psychobabble laced throughout. That isn't to say that everyone will always get along and there will never be conflict.
It took Frank more than fifteen minutes to actually walk inside my office. This religious elitism allows little room for outside influences. They focus a lot of energy on smaller issues while ignoring larger ones. As Christians, we don't want to think that abuse happens in the church, but it is alive and well. Spiritually abusive systems say whether spoken or unspoken that one must earn their acceptance with God. It comes by grace through faith.
The second item in the list was renewing the mind. It becomes abusive when y The title of this book turned me off but it was recommended on a list of top ten favorite books of folks I respect. It is a breath of fresh air for anyone who is downtr Wow. He was not there for his congregation, he was there for himself. Openness and honesty help us recover from emotional and psychological manipulation and avoid inflicting this type of abuse on anyone else. Even if you don't agree with a person, or you don't affirm their ideals, there is something trustworthy about a man or a woman who is 'straight' with you.
If they don't, they are not truly leaders. Escape How to escape the trap? They are using something intimate to the heart such as spirituality and manipulating you. Emphasis is on gift-based versus performance-based. Jeff VanVonderen: Frank had been referred to me by a therapist at a Christian clinic. We still hear words and sing songs about grace and life, but there seems so little of the genuine article. Once you start thinking for yourself, instead of drinking the cool-aid, you start waking up. To break out: 1 Victims have to realize they are being spiritually abused and ask for help.
As with any problem area, there are, of course, differing levels of abuse, ranging from words and insinuations to full out physical abuse. I was informed that Frank was extremely reluctant to come and see a minister, but that he would come in for one session, or two at the most. As a youngster, I was in a church where the pastor used brow-beating as his whip of choice. Do you see any of the following characteristics? Aside from some light criticisms I have regarding sloppy copy editing, my only other critique is that there are a few points which could have been fleshed out. Note: Recovering Grace is not a 501 c 3, and thus gifts are not tax-deductible. My examples are derived only 50% from Christian incidents, but this book discusses the sin and destruction of megalomaniac leadership from a Christian perspective. His Growing in Grace radio broadcast is syndicated internationally.
Equity rescuing is when you put money into something in order to rescue the equity you have been trying to build up in it. It helped me to straighten out in my head some of the experiences I had growing up in church; and in a situation very similar to that of one of the authors. Written for both those who feel abused and those who may be causing it, The Subtle Power of Spiritual Abuse shows how people get hooked into abusive systems, the impact of controlling leadership on a congregation, and how the abused believer can find rest and recovery. When Frank came for our appointment, I greeted him and noted that he shook my hand warily. A much sought-after speaker, he is a graduate of Bethel College and received his theological training at Bethel Seminary and Trinity Evangelical Divinity School. But to offer healing and hope from it brings the resolution few have ever achieved. It focuses on the spiritual rebuilding process that is necessary once one realizes the abuse; otherwise one is prone to just fall into again in another context.
Regardless, the book does a good job of showing how the spiritual leaders of Israel, so intensely confronted by Christ, are really an example of what spiritual abuse looks like within the confines of religion. I have to thank God that I have been out of that situation for some time now and have found a good church! No doubt the term itself will disturb, if not shock, many people, though that is not our intent. First, it is addressing an absolutely critical issue that needs to be addressed, for spiritual abuse is a very common issue in the church. Abusive churches tend to have incidents of sexual misconduct more often than most conventional churches; leaders sometimes exhibit an obsessive interest in matters relating to sex. In spiritual systems where performance is more important than emotional honesty or human need, both extremes will be strongly in evidence. When the prey tries to get out, it will get stuck and struggle harder, eventually wearing itself out. He came to lift from the backs of tired people the burden of trying hard to earn God's approval.